Theories Of Attraction Outside Of Dating

Attraction isn't only related to sarging and dating, it's everywhere. Theories of attraction works in people's everyday lives. People always want something they can't have, kids always want other kids' toys, etc. I came across a blog post so interesting, I just had to share it.

Game is a social dynamic that children as well as horny adults play. Game has roots deep in the human psyche that appear at a very young age, and thus is immune to the cultural conditioning explanation. My one and a half year old nephew and three year old niece provided excellent test cases of game in action.

Examples

Even though there was a mountain of toys under the tree, some still unwrapped, and toys strewn all over the room, when my nephew saw my niece playing one particular toy with great concentration he decided that was the one he wanted, RIGHT NOW. When she wouldn't share the toy, he cried (i.e. bitched and moaned in child language).

• Game principle demonstrated: Social Proof. My nephew wanted that toy more than all the others (despite the possibility that the other toys were better) because he saw his sister having fun with it. The toy was preselected by my niece.

When I gave my niece her present, she grabbed it and shredded the wrapping into confetti. Her mom had to remind her to thank me and give me a hug, which she did... absent-mindedly and perfunctorily, like she was fulfilling a tedious social obligation.

• Game principle demonstrated: Disqualification. By freely giving my niece a gift when she most expected it, with no strings attached, I disqualified myself as a person who intrigues her. Had I qualified her first - "Hey, I don't know if you've been a good girl this year, maybe I'll give your gift to your brother instead" - she would have worked to earn my gift (i.e. compliment) and showed gratitude in the form of a genuine spontaneous hug.

Later, I was deeply engrossed in playing with the cat. It's a very fat cat that when it sits on you keeps you warm all over, like a wool blanket. My niece saw that the cat was contented, and I was completely focused on scratching it under the chin. I told her she could come and pet it if she was gentle. She bounded over.

• Game principle demonstrated: Pawning. The cat comes closest to competing with my niece for everyone's attention. She knows a competitor when she sees one. By befriending the high value cat and making it a part of my social circle, I was able to pawn it off and lock in my niece's attention.

I was watching one of the great classics on TV - Cannonball Run. My niece wanted to play "magic wand" with me again. (Previously, I let her turn me into a frog.) I waved her away. She kept coming back and I kept telling her to move away from the TV. She whined and ran right up to my face, bopping me on the head with her wand and begging me to turn into a frog.

• Game principle demonstrated: Active Disinterest. My three year old niece knows she is the cutest person in the living room. She prances like a princess. In this environment, she is a 10. I gave her an IOD (Indicator of Disinterest) when I showed more attention to the TV than her, and that motivated her to win my approval.

When I finally relented and turned once more into a frog, and made ribbit noises, she squealed with delight. She zapped me with her wand again, and I turned into a monkey. Then a dog. And a bird. Each time I imitated a new animal, she released bursts of joy. But as my list of zoo animals ran out, she began getting bored. When I half-assedly meowed like a dying cat, she said "That animal is boring. I'm bored" and haughtily walked off.

• Game principle demonstrated: Push-Pull. I spoiled my niece by giving her what she wanted. I was "pulling" her by being her dancing monkey, without pushing her away to keep her wanting more. She became bored with her expectations constantly being fulfilled.

My niece pulled out her stuffed animals and arranged them around a few dishes of my grandmother's fine china. I asked her what the toys were doing, and she said they were having a tea party. I told her the elephant would not need hands because he would suck up his tea with his trunk. Then I pretended to be each of the animals, acting out the scene in progress. "Woof, Mr. Giraffe, would you please pass the bone?" "Excuse me, Mr. Dog, but Mr. Tiger wants to eat you. He likes delicious dog meat with his tea." My niece parried my every move with a storyline of her own. The character development was better than most Hollywood blockbusters.

• Game principle demonstrated: Stimulate her emotions. I threw logic out the window and immersed myself in the stuffed animal tea party world, and my niece's excitement grew the more I built up the fantasy world. She was happy to discard logic and run wild with the animals' dialogue, no matter how little sense it made.

I told my brother-in-law that based on the toys my nephew and niece played with (lincoln logs and princess dolls respectively), there was little chance they would grow up homosexual. His lineage was safe.

• Game principle demonstrated: It's biomechanics all the way down.

New Wing - Axe

Ahhhhh.......what it's like to be new in the game. I remember when I was newer at it, I thought my openers were incredibly awesome, and had a lot of faith in them. I systematically walked up to 2-sets directly across a bar with my wing and said "Settle a debate between us, we got a beer betting on this. From your body language, my friend thinks you haven't known each other for long, like less than 6 months, but I think you've known each other for years. So who was right?", and transitioined into the "best friends test" routine and opened sets 70% of the time.

Now, after learning more book knowledge, knowing more and more things I "shouldn't do", approach anxiety builds up some more. Canned openers seemed fake to me, I no longer have much confidence in it, and it projects onto the sets.

Well, I just met another aspiring PUA locally, and he's in the same stage I was when I was new to the game - the attitude of "this stuff rocks", super confident in his openers, and opens sets semi-consistantly because of it.

Axe, as of 12/27/08:
Strengths:

• has his "basics" down (body language, grooming, dressing, etc)
• great confidence
• In good shape, physique wise
  
• easy rapport
• fearless openners
• can keep a conversation going if needed to
• pre-selection DHV routines

Weaknesses:

• lack book knowledge
• doesn't have enough routines in his rappateur

Being extremely new at the game, he's off to an extremely good start. I'm sure he will improve on his weaknesses with a lot of experience. If he sticks to this hobby and not be content dating instead after he finds some success (like me), he'll be an extremely compitent PUA.

Seems like he did a review of me as well in a local forum:

Ambiance and I met up at Starbucks around 3:50 pm . I was surprised when I met Ambiance he displayed a very cool and relaxed feel when he came by to greet me as I was already at the coffee shop, pretending to be interested in the book I was reading. He called my phone and waved I looked up sup Ambiance whats up. He kept good posture and a very calm aura, in my opinion representing a very Relaxed Alpha Male. He went to get his drink and I sat there a while longer of course always looking for possible sets or prospects to work with.

As he came and sat down down he leaned back kept his head up, he had a well groomed hair style and a clean look...We made general chit chat. He asked me a lot of questions, knowing that I was very new to "The Game."
He had a lot of book knowledge and was very humble in the conversation; I think he was there encouraging me a little bit more than just asking.

I don't know if he was really as impressed with my desire to expand into the lifestyle of a PUA or intrigued. I told him about some of the recent situations with my small field work and he started explaining to me what I was doing in the terms of a PUA; I am running wide open past signs that I can't read because I'm moving to fast. He just slowed things down a little bit a recapped what I had ran pass, it was a lot of great information.

I saw a girl, I recognized her, from ____ high school 2001... Ambiance was talking and I said sorry man I am not trying to be rude I just know that girl I think... "He said there is only one thing to find out." awesome motivational statement he couldn't have said it better. Now I break the 3 second rule I actually try to figure out how I want to approach and such because I am new and I don't really have a real approach I just have a jumble of information that I throw into the mix ... (this is great kills my anxiety)
Approach: Hey! did you go to ___? yes I start talking to her she draws in closer. I keep the conversation flowing now that opener was just laid down before you don't mess it up lol. I started chatting a little asking her how she was blah blah blah THEN! Ambiance "hey man I need to get going", firm hand shake..awesome to set up a story for time constraint if I need it, gave me social status and he kept his coolness around him. Aight man it was nice meeting you. I turned back to Heather, I got my phone out opened it put it in front of her as she was trying to put her coffee insulter on and I continued with a story about Mr Abraham quit blah blah blah. She said she might have a new job out of town soon was in for the holidays I wished her luck on that and she was trying to bitch test me I believe that she was running that responce at me to see my reaction if I would rush a meeting, I acted like I didn't care like I had to go as well... THANK YOU Ambiance great job.

I left and called Ambiance up, of course I knew what he did it was my first time ever being out with a real wing man, fellow PUA, (I still consider myself an AAFC) What he did was natural and genius and the same thing I would have done if I had been him. So on our parts we both get level ups there I would imagine.

I look forward to hanging out with more of you guys in efforts to improve all of our game together.

Till Next Time

-Axe

Collabrative Effort, End Cock Blocking: Pass It On

Every aspiring PUA has encountered this - you were gaming your target and isolated her. Attraction's built, comfort is near. But all of a sudden, her fat/ugly/lonely/bitter, or any of the combination friend comes in and start talking to the target, effectively cockblocking you. The flow is ruined, you go home alone, your target goes home alone, and her friend finds the comfort of "nobody's happier than her" or "nobody else is getting laid either". Maybe the friend can self-justify on her moral highhorse, that she just "saved her friend from being gamed", when in reality, her friend would actually enjoy stepping into the reality of the aspiring PUA. Most PUA's are full of techniques that maintain control of the flow while making women feel good about themselves - something most women would desire.

Well, Roosh has the solution - but it takes all of our effort. Stop playing it safe, stop acting "socially accommodating" and join Roosh in his quest to change the dynamics of the sexual economy in the US.

The way to end cockblocking in the United States came to me in a dream. I woke up and immediately grabbed a pen so I wouldn't forget something that could change the lives of millions of men.

If you get cockblocked by a girl, you need to respond by shaking her core so hard that she hesitates doing it ever again, like a mouse who hits the wrong lever and gets the shit zapped out of him. No jokes and no wit—you gotta get dirty.

This is what you must say to the cockblocker. Say it with a stern tone, like a parent scolding a child.

"Did you really just do that? I'm being friendly and respectful to your friend and you rudely interrupt. Did your parents teach you to be anti-social like that?"

Then shake your head and turn your back on her. Don't engage her in a conversation or even act like you hear her response. She no longer exists.

This ruins her night, completely. Girls are emotional creatures and it takes them a very long time to get over getting called out like that. To top it off, girls absolutely hate it when you don't allow them to respond. They are so used to getting in the last word in their arguments with men (they are addicted to closure, remember), that she will be thinking of what happened for a long time to come.

I was talking to a girl and mid-sentence out of nowhere this bitch rolls up between us and starts yapping her mouth. I tap her on the shoulder and she turns around. With a straight face I said, "You see we're talking here, right?” She gave me a stunned look and immediately stormed off. Her friend gave chase to console her.

Do you think she interrupted another conversation that night? I don't think so. She probably went home to call her beta hanger-on for support.

If every guy calls out a cockblocker just once a month, I'm confident it will cease to exist in a year or two. I'm dead serious. Girls will continue to cockblock as long as there is no punishment for doing so, and since it's against the law to slap her upside the face, you have to use words. But it's important you don't use profanity or call her names because then she won't take you seriously. Be mostly respectful so she can't immediately write you off as an asshole. You're a good guy who is shocked and appalled by the rudeness you were just victim to. You don't believe what the world is coming to.

It's our fault that girls cockblock. We've been letting them get away with it for so long that girls know there is absolutely no cost for them to block. We stand there with dumbfounded looks on our face while she gets satisfaction that her friend is going home alone just like her. It's time to let them earn that cockblock.

Here are the keywords to remember: respectful, rude, interrupt, anti-social. I don't care if I get kicked out of bars but I'm going to ruin her night, and she's going to think twice about doing it again. Worthless bitch.

Random Day Game in San Diego

I did a little bit of day-game while traveling to San Diego. I had the perfect opener - "Excuse me, I'm from the east coast, in town for the weekend to check the place out, and thinking of moving here. How long have you been living in San Diego and what're your thoughts on it?"

The first girl I number closed was a cashier in a downtown market. Cute, but supposedly taken (had a boyfriend). For some reason, she offered me her Email address and phone number "to keep in touch".


My second encounter was an interesting one. I was sitting at a sushi bar and a cute, older woman sat to my left. She seemed refined, around the age of mid-30's and had the "not to be bothered" vibe. I ignored her for a while, while getting my food and Saki. The Saki bottle was bigger than expected, so I was planning on taking some back to the hotel.

After "being normal" for about 10 minutes, I decided to attempt the same opener about me being in town for the weekend and wanted to "ask a local" about her opinions. She was receptive, and the set was opened. I asked her what rent prices are around here, especially an apartment by the beach (to convey that I'm a fun guy). I also DHV'ed by telling her what I did for a living, and asking questions such as "As a single guy, how much would I need to make here to be super comfortable, as in to be able to go out 4 nights a week, and randomly drop $50 each time without thinking twice about it? Something like $80k or something like $150k?" This conveyed the lifestyle I currently live and sub-communicated that "I'm not rich, but I make good money".

About 5 minutes into the conversation, I decided that she's pretty cool, so I offered her some alcohol. "Would you like some Saki? I can't possibly finish it myself" then showing her the big bottle I got. With slight hesitation, she said "Well, yeah, sure, why not." I asked for another Saki glass, and we started drinking together. I took Saki periodically in a shot-like manner, but she consistently sipped on it.

I asked her what she does, and she said she was an artist. She draws from live, pictures, or memory. So I went with a quick compliance test - I asked her to draw a 30 second characture of me from memory, as I turned facing the other way. She drew something quick on a napkin, and said "the biggest thing that stood out for me was your hair".



I made a comment about her signature, and that started my handwriting analysis routine, and she wrote a small sentence for me to analyze.


She seemed to enjoy it, so I followed it up with the cube game routine. I got her attention and her interest. IOI's were flying everywhere from her. She wanted to know all about me. We started chatting about dating and relationships, and she turned out to be married. Without a ring on her hand, maybe she said it to turn me off, but I genuinely believed she was married because I asked some more questions about it and she seemed natural about it.

At the end of the meal, I showed her my mood ring on my finger that I got at the souvenir shop, and asked her if she knew much about mood rings. She said no, and asked what the current colors meant. My response was "It shows excitement, intrigue, but also disappointment". It generated a smile from her. I then followed up by showing direct interest, "If you were single, I'd definitely invite you for a drink in my hotel room". She smiled, and seemed appreciative that I was interested.

I ended my meal by paying for my check, and we ended the night with a hug. Great experiences in San Diego.

Lessons Learned:

• Women in San Diego have less bitch shield than women in the small town I currently live in - either that or I can attribute it to my "I'm only here for the weekend" opener
• I need to have a true "need" to run day-game well, and it needs to be a "need" that takes more than 20 seconds to solve (such as asking for directions)
• New routines around the mood ring sounds intriguing, I should start perfecting it
  

The Unjaded Youth

The Unjaded Youth

So I'm taking a trip to the LA / San Diego area over Thanksgiving break. I'm excited because it's my first time visiting the SoCal area. While waiting at the airport, a young, cute girl asked both myself and the guy next to me if we were going to Minneapolis, our connecting stop. We both said yes. She said "Yeah, my connecting plane boards 10 minutes before this one is scheduled to land". I asked "going to LA?". She said yes, and asked me if I was doing the same thing, I said "yes", and the conversation was started among the three of us.

I mostly sat back and kept on playing with my phone while the guy next to me chatted with her. They mostly went through the "rapport building" stuff, told each other where they were from, etc. She seemed receptive and didn't have a bitch shield on, and the conversation between the guy and the girl went on for about 20 minutes. The news came - the flight was delayed an hour and they changed the gate. The guy and his friend went to the other gate, and I struck up a conversation with the girl.

Me: So what type of shows do you guys do? (She travels to do comedy shows, and sets up the stage and all)
Her: We do skit comedy about dating and relationships
Me: So how long do the shows usually last?
Her: About 2 hrs, but you don't really notice it because it's really funny and interesting
...[some more rapport building question about the show]...
Me: So being in a show about dating and relationships, does it make you jaded about the whole relationship in general?
Her: What do you mean?
Me: Well, in the past few years, I've dated a lot of women. The more women I dated, the more I seemed to be able to streamline the process, making each one even more unspecial. Do you know what I mean?
Her: Yeah, I'm currently waiting, I let Crist guide my life and I feel like I will find that special somebody.

The conversation continued. Instead of chatting about boring rapport building stuff, she and I chatted about relationships, more of what people are looking for in life. I didn't try to close her, she isn't from the city I'm from and she seems pretty clear on what she wants (at age 19), and I certainly am nothing like what she's looking for.

My Analysis of her:

Good:

• Out going
• No bitch shield
• Not judgemental (especially when I told her I'm looking for and always had mLTR's)
• Young, cute
• Can take a joke (when I negged about not liking her name, so I'm gonna call her "Kim" from now on, it's one of my fav names for women)
• Her youthful body language - the body language of a teenager, from laying down on 2 adjacent airport seats to sitting on her chair Indian style.
  

Bad:

• Religion as ideal and reasoning, "I'm not dating because God doesn't want me to date right now"
• Has a "top 10 list" of what she wants out of her future husband - setting herself up for disappointments
• Thinks she knows exactly what she wants at age 19.

Misunderstandings And Hastiness

I was at a bar with Radium as night. I went to the bar to get a drink for myself and Radium, and opened a 2-set sitting on my left. I started a 2-3 sentence chat with the girl sitting closest to me, while Radium started talking with the other one. There was a slight misunderstanding on the drinks ordered with the bartender due to the loudness of the bar.

The girl closest to me playfully said "damn Asians" (I happen to be Asian). I ignored it and took slight offense. After getting my drink, I looked at Radium, he has his set engaged. I wanted to eject the set because of the Asian remark the girl I was talking to made, but I didn't want to drag Radium out of the set because he was doing well. I told him "I'm going to go play some pool, I'll be right back". I left, the pool table was being used, so I went sitting at a different bar inside the building, and started chatting with the bartender. My drink was finished, so I thought I'd come up and check on Radium, he still had his target engaged, was telling DHV stories and the whole deal, so I ordered another drink at the bar they were sitting at. I faced straight at the bar the whole time, a smile on my face because I felt like it was necessary in order to not blow Radium out of his set. The bartender took a while to get my change back, and the whole time I showed the whole set IOD's. My original targeted tried to start chatting with me, but I politely smiled and answered her questions as I was waiting on my change, almost like a male version of the "bitch shield". I waited on my change, tipped the bartender, and politely walked away again.

Later on, Radium joined me in the other bar after he number closed his target. As we were leaving the place hitting up the next bar, he asked me what happened. I told him about why I ejected, and Radium told me "Dude, she's Asian herself". Wow, it seems like me being unaware of random stuff has really bit me in the ass this time, she was simply trying to build rapport with the "Damn Asians" comment. Radium then told me she was married anyway.

Lingering thought: Did my target show interest in me because I showed her absolutely no interest at all, and this is one of those "wanting what they can't have" things? Or did she show me fake interest so I wouldn't drag Radium away from his target? Almost like a female version of a "wingman"?

Direct vs Indirect Game

I have this conversation with Radium a lot, the thoughts of direct vs indirect game. I'm more of a believer in indirect game due to my own personality, and Radium does direct game more because it's worked well for him in the past.

Example of Radium's direct game:

• [Directly look at the girls, speaking in a smooth, interested voice]
• Hey girls, what's going on. So what're your names? [wait on answer]
• Awesome, I'm [insert name].
• So where're you girls from? [wait on answer]
• That's awesome, I'm from [insert location].
• So are you going to college there? [wait on answer]
• Cool, what's your major? [wait on answer]
• [insert a 15 second comment about when he was in college].
• [ask next comfort building question]

Example of my indirect game:

• [Walking by a couple of girls, quick stop looking over the side of the shoulder, body language being a an angle, speaking in an extremely casual voice]
• Quick question, my friend and I made a bet. I lost and have to dye my hair. Is it acceptable for me to dye my hair black (I have natually black hair)?
• Awesome, I knew you girls would agree with me, thanks (or "Oh? Why not? I AM gonna dye my hair, he just didn't specify the color).
  
• [Interrupting whatever the girl's going to say next] Your nose wiggles when you talk, did you know that? Go ahead, what were you saying?
• [transitioin into DHV story]

Our philosophies on direct game:

Me: Going after them directly and showing too much interest in the girls(before they're interested in me) lowers my value. "I" approached "them", I'm more interested in them than they are interested in me. I'm after them, they know it, therefore I'm starting off with a handicap of the perceived (maybe subconscious) thought of "they're better than me", and "they have higher social value than I do".

Radium: I am great at building rapport, and they love talking about their favorite subjects - themselves. Women always tell me I'm a great listener because I let them yap on about themselves.

Personally, I think if done correctly, both work, and both work well. The main difference is the opener. At a certain point in pick-up, you're supposed to show interest, no matter what type of game you run. Here are some techniques to pull both off during the beginning phases of each game type:

To build attraction via direct game:

• Sub-communicating sincerity
• Strong intent
• Body language and directness showing high value

To build attraction via indirect game:

• Sub-communicating playfulness
• False Disqualification (through words or body language)
• Neg
• DHV stories

Loss Of Networking Girl

Well, easy come easy go. The girl I got through Networking Game found a boyfriend, and I'm truly happy for her. She's always been looking for that fairy tale, looking for her prince charming. I told her I'm not looking for anything exclusive, but I encouraged she to go find her fairy tale. Until she does, we can keep getting together. Well, she found someone that's willing to commit and treat her well, let's hope things work out for them. If things don't work out, I can always use an extra girl in my collection a bit down the road. :)

Seems like now I have to go out sarging more often and replace her. As my game evolves, I need to learn how to prolong casual relationships with exclusive relationship seeking women before they walk away. Such a predictable cycle:

• sarging
• hooking
• dating
• "the talk"
• settling on the girl's part (on the type of relationship)
• girl stops settling and walks out
• sarging to replace her

Thanks goodness this is a fun cycle. :)

Number Close - David DeAngelo 3 Minute Number Technique

Text-book David D 3-minute number close technique - quick intro, spend 3 minutes chatting, quick exit, turn around to leave, take 1 step, turn back around, "hey, do you have Email?" Women in major cities usually do have Email and usually don't mind giving them out due to the lack of intrusiveness, and while they're writing down their Email, say "write your number below that as well", their subconscious thinks "I'm writing down my Email, number's the same thing", and that's how numbers are gotten quickly.

I number-closed a cashier yesterday, using a variation of the technique above. This was a technique I've been using for more than a year or so, before I got into the community. Such a shame, that after all these "seduction training" and book knowledge, the one that brought success was actually something I used a year ago. Could it be a sign that my skills really isn't improving much?

It was a Saturday morning, 11:30AM at CVS drug store. I needed some cash so I dropped by to buy a bag of chips, and used my debit card. It was in a fairly ghetto part of town, the cashier looks young, African American, really thin, cute body, somewhere between 18-21, HB6-7.

Me, while paying: What's the max amount of cash I can take out?
HBcashier: Um........a hundred, maybe two hundred?
Me: Well, I'll take a hundred back then, don't need two hundred right now.
HBcashier: Okay, have a good day
Me, finished paying, nobody else in cashier line, slight body rock: So how early did you have to get up to work here?
HBcashier: I was here at 8 this morning
Me: Wow, that sucks. I remember working for Circuit City, they wanted me to get in early on Saturday too, but I'd always go out and party Friday night, and get to work at 11AM, and tell my manager "yeah......sorry..........I tried".
HBcashier, small laugh: Yeah, I'm trying to make some extra money
Me: Oh? What would you do with the extra money that you make?
HBcashier: I wanna go travel
Me: That's awesome, travelling's great, isn't it? Where have you been to this year?
HBcashier: Myrtle beach
Me: Yeah, I'm thinking of going to the beach in the next few weeks, but I don't know if I'll get to go this year, the weather's getting cold. . Where do you want to go?
HBcashier: Chicago
Me: You know what, I've never ever been to Chicago. What's in Chicago?
HBcashier: I don't know, just seemed like a fun city to go, it's just there
Me: Never thought about it like that, great idea. I'll definitely have to check out Chicago sometime.
HBcashier: Yeah, totally.
Me, quick body rock, turn back around: Hey, are you single?
HBcashier: Yes, I am
Me, handed back my receipt: Write down your number here, and we'll chat about Chicago sometime.

She wrote down her number and name (which was the first time I found out what her name is). I told her mine, and I wished her a good day and left the store.

Over Negging The Bartender

Monday night - To celebrate my breakthrough to overcoming approach anxiety, I decided to go to a huge local 3-star hotel by a convention center, hoping to sarge on some visitors, especially traveling business women. I convinced Radium to come with me.

Bar 1:
I arrived 5 minutes before Radium, trying to be super social, and started chatting with the bartender at the hotel bar. Radium joined us, we chatted for a bit. There was a female bartender and a male bartender that's occasionally dropping by. I asked for a Mojito from each, and negged the female bartender about the male bartender making better Mojitos, we asked if there're other bars in the hotel, she directed me to other ones, we chilled out and chatted for about 15 minutes longer. Radium and myself both finished our drinks, and I negged the female bartender by loudly (and obviously loudly) talking to Radium, "Dude, let's go check out the other bar, our bartender's kinda annoying". She gave us a smile after hearing it, and we left for the next bar in the hotel.

Bar 2:
We went to another bar, which we got greeted by 5 different employees at the same time at the entrance of the bar area. I made a joke about it, telling them how special I feel, I stood next to them acting like I was going to greet somebody as well, and said "I just want someone else to feel a little more special, so I'm going to join you guys for the next greeting", obviously I only stood there for 3 seconds, long enough to generate a laugh, and sat at the bar.

I ordered a drink, the bartender chatted with Radium and myself for a little bit, I started with quick small negs, the bartender seemed a bit more interested in talking with us.

I needed to use the restroom, asked for directions, and passed another bar on the way to the restroom. The bartender is standing around next to the bar entrance, because her whole bar's empty. She's in her early to mid 30's, blond, cute, about a 7 (out of 10). I smiled at her, she smiled back, I kept on walking to the bathroom. On the way back, I stroke up a conversation:

Me: What you up to?
HB7: Nothing really, nobody's here tonight
Me: Awwwww......I'd totally hang with you for a drink if my friend and I aren't already sitting on the other bar.
HB7: I understand
Me: I'll talk to you later (then a small tap on the shoulder)

I got back from the bathroom to rejoin the bar, my drink was still there, untouched (hopefully), I negged more and more, then asked some opinion about women then how old she is.

HBbartender:I'm 23
Me, playfully: Oh, wow, sorry, I no longer want to know what you think about it now, not that you're not important, but it's just not important to me because I usually date women in their early 30's.
HBbartender: How old are you?
Me: 105

Generated a quick laugh from the bartender, conversation kept on going, I negged more and more. At one point, she said "okay, I'm not gonna talk to you for 10 minutes" while still chatting with Radium due to my over-negging. I said "Okay, cool". I stood up with my drink in my hand, and walked away, to the other bar where HB7 was bar tending.

Bar 3:
I sat down at her bar, told her that my friend is trying to talk to the bartender, so I'm gonna leave them alone, and now I'm here to chill with you. She seemed receptive, which she has to be because she's the bartender and I'm the only person at her bar. She asked about my story, I talked about myself for a few minutes, I asked about her story, she talked about herself for a little while, we talked about common interests, all the local fun hangout places, etc.

We chatted more, I tell her I'm a fairly perceptive person, and gave her a really "interested, but analytical" stare for about 10 seconds, with my hand on my cheek and everything. She asked if I know anything about her by just looking at her for that long, I said "no, but I can tell you a lot about yourself if you wrote down your signature". She did, it transitioned into a handwriting analysis routine, at the end, I asked "so from a scale of 1 to 10, how close was I?". She said "8 or 9", continued to be surprised about how close I was, etc, so I said "here, let's give this psyc test a try, it'll tell me even more about you as a person, imagine a cube ..." I transitioned into a the cube game routine, built more comfort and value as I was "telling her about herself as a person, subconciously" while asking her more questions about her, and here's the horse part:

Me: So you imagined a unicore, which makes me think that you're looking for something super special, almost a guy that's too good to exist.
HB7: Well...........that's not true..........I like all the guys in my past
Me: Do you feel like most aren't good enough for you though? Like you're slightly better than all the guys you dated?
HB7: No
Me: It's okay if you do, cuz I feel like that sometimes
HB7:And why do you feel that way? Do you feel like you're more intelligent? Better looking? Make more money?
Me: Yes, I don't know, and yes. I also feel like I'm more travelled, more cultured, more open minded, etc. So you don't feel like your dream guy's too good to exist, huh? So are you currently in a relationship?
HB7: Yes
Me: How long have you guys been together?
HB7: 6 years.

So that set was wasted, I finished the cube routine, chatted with her for a bit while finishing my drink that I brought over from the other bar, and asked for a water. She handed me a water, I left her a nice tip, estimated it's been about 30 minutes already, said my goodbyes, and went back to the bar Radium was at.

Back to Bar 2:

By now, Radium had built some comfort with HBbartender. I went back with my new-found water from the other bar, and said:
Me: Your coworkers are some of the most awesome people ever.
HBbartender: Yeah, those are some great people (pointing to the hostesses in the same bar)
Me: No I was actually talking about the bartender at the other bar (pointing down the hall, basically gave her a "I had a lot more fun chatting with her than you" hint)
HBbartender: Oh, our bars don't really intermingle much, I've seen her, but I don't really know much about her.
Me: Wow, such a shame, you totally should. She's nice, intelligent, well cultured, well travelled, and really pretty. Too bad she's in a 6 year relationship, I totally would've given it a try if she wasn't.

I kept on chatting for a little while, asked Radium if he was ready to leave, he said "yes" and he went for a number close. He wasn't successful, but the bartender wanted him to come back, and said "I'll be here the next 3 days". While leaving, I asked:

Me: From a scale of 1-10, how nice of a guy do you think my friend is?
HBbartender: Like a 9 and a half
Me: Okay, from a scale of 1 - 10, how nice of a guy was I being tonight?
HBbartender: Well.....uh........
Me: Hmmmmm......like a 2-3?
HBbartender: Yeah, but you said it, not me.
Me: That's cool, I don't take offense. So from a scale of 1 - 10, how much of a jackass was I being tonight?
HBbartender: Well.....uh.......
Me: Like 8 or 9?
HBbartender: Yeah, I'd say so
Me: Appreciate it. Have a good night.

Things I did well:

• First bartender, negged a little about her mojito
• When 2nd bartender "stopped talking to me", I didn't just sit around looking like I'm not having fun, "being punished on time-out", I went out and showed her that I had even more fun
• Came back and talked about all the great qualities about the other bartender (competition, jealousy)
• Fun, interesting vibe

Things I fucked up on:

• Over-negged, can't judge the cue of when I should stop negging.

Getting Past Approach Anxiety

Okay, 2-set, HB6 and 8, straight ahead, I should open. I can't walk directly over, it shows intimidation. I need to think of an excuse to walk past them and "randomly" stop and ask an opinion opener. What can I do to walk over there casually without looking like I walked over just to approach them? what opener should I use? Oh crap, I looked at them too long, staled out the set, lost the "spontaneous" of the approach, this one's burnt, I shouldn't be opening this set now.

For the past 3-4 weeks, I felt like I was "getting into my own head" too much as I acquired more book knowledge. It gave me lots of approach anxiety which led me to not open sets at all. That was, until last Wednesday night. Radium and I went out sarging Wed night. We planned to hit up this local wine bar due to their half-off wine special. On the way walking there, I wanted to start being talkative to strangers, so I went with a functional opener with 2 girls walking the same direction, but somewhat behind us.

Set 1:
I stopped and waited 5 seconds for the girls to catch up to us, and said "Excuse me, do you girls know where Cafe [name] is?" They didn't know, and Radium asked "where're you two girls going?" The more talkative one said "we're going to [club name]", and Radium started talking about his awesome experiences in that club, the set was opened. By then, we were walking 2x2 on the sidewalk, Radium walked beside the more talkative one and I walked beside the less talkative one behind them. I looked at my target as Radium and his target were talking about the club, and we exchanged a smile. I asked her for her name, and started talking to her. She doesn't come out much because she has a baby (she's between 18 and 21 yrs old), we briefly chatted about her baby, how cute they are, built some small rapport. We arrived at the club the girls were going to within 3 minutes of chatting, and we shook hands with the girls before we kept on walking towards the wine bar. This helped curing my approach anxiety.

Set 2:
We arrived at the wine bar. We grabbed drinks, walked over to somewhere within proximity of a 2-set, chilled out for a while, chatting, laughing, having a great time. I opened the set with a quick opinion opener: "Hey guys, quick question. He and I made a bet over a game of basketball, and I lost, which means I have to dye my hair. Is it acceptable to settle the bet by me dying my hair black (I have naturally black hair)? The set was opened. One of them is actually a hair stylist, she said it wasn't acceptable, she talked about all the different ways I could streak my hair, etc. She gave me her business card to her salon, and told me to go there when I dye my hair. The whole time, we were talking about the bet and my hair, conversations died down, and we ejected.

Set 3:
We got another drink, came back and the other set was gone, and did the same thing with another 2-set. Radium opened with the same opener as before, but he was more aggressive with his voice tone and body language as he delivered his opener. The set didn't seem very receptive, we got an answer to the opinion opener and we ejected. Radium and I chatted a little about body language and aggressiveness.


Set 4:
As we left the bar, and went through a small park, we saw two fat chicks. I said in a really low voice to Radium: "Dude, I think we'll have to skip this set, I don't think I can bring myself to opening this one, even for practice". Radium opened the set anyway using the same opinion opener. We chatted, and I paid special attention to transitioning. The set seemed receptive, volunteered information, transitioning was fairly natural. A dead end came to the conversation, Radium picked it up with some "boring" questions, such as "where're you from, do you go to school, etc" and the conversation continued. I did a few transitions, multi-threading, etc. The conversation came into another stop, I said "well, it was great meeting you two ladies, and I wish you a good night". We ejected from this set as well.

Set 5:
As we walked down the street to the next bar, we were within proximity of another 2-set, and Radium opened using the same opinion opener. The four of us walked the same direction for a small while. Conversation died down a bit, Radium asked "life questions", and found out the girls were joining the military, Radium picked up the conversation with his experiences at the military, giving the girls advice about it. We stopped at our bar, said our goodbye's, and the set kept on walking to their cars.

Overall Analysis:

• The Good: No more approach anxiety, opened sets fairly confidently
• The Bad: Still having trouble keeping the conversation going smoothly, transitioning from one topic to another, etc.

URL Update - SeductionAdventures.com

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Networking Game & Fool's Mate

Attributes of Fool's Mate:

• Easy success
• Tough to replicate
• Doesn't help much with overall experience
• Comes from chess term, where you beat the opponent in 2 (or 4) moves.
  

So now there's a new girl in my life that I met through networking game. Networking game as in an acquaintance of a friend, and we met in a social gathering which my friend attended. I number closed and time-bridged our first date to be watching the Olympic basketball game at my place.

• Time: 10AM on a Sunday morning.
• Place: My place.

I built some Kino really quick, when she was looking out of my downtown apartment window for the view (slightly bent over) when she first came in, I jokingly said "Are you trying show off your ass?" and gave it a quick, light smack. I didn't really care if I pissed her off anyway because I didn't put in the work of cold-approach, therefore I don't value her or the outcome much. She responded well, by the first quarter of the basketball game I held her in my arms on the couch. We made out during half-time, I transitioned into the bedroom, "sealed the deal", and the 2nd half of the basketball game was never watched. I've never had a SNL before, and this is the closest thing to it.

I spent the entire day with her and she invited me to sleep over her place that night which I did. We had "the talk" about what we're looking for in life. She's looking for a relationship but I'm not looking for anything exclusive. The idea of "dating around" seemed foreign to her, but she seemed okay with it, for now. I basically told her "I don't want to stop you from finding your prince charming because I'm not looking for anything exclusive, but until you find that prince charming, we can spend time together".

I've been spending about 2 nights a week with her for the past 2 weeks. She boosts my temporary happiness, but I feel like I cheated. I obtained her through networking game and not cold approach, and this experience does very little helping me improve my overall game.

Update with Kim

Same as before, haven't really advanced much physically or emotionally, still seeing her about once a week. I realized that I genuinely like her, and I'm being somewhat needy and AFCish.

Friday night date highlight:
On the date before that, I timebridged her to do Saki with me Friday night because a local Japanese restaurant has Saki specials on Friday nights. I told her to bring a change of cloths if she wanted to. I also jokingly asked if she snored when she sleeps, she said sometimes, and I said something like "if you wake me up with your snore, I'll randomly touch you so you can't sleep either". Stage was set, expectations were set.

On Friday, I got a flake attempt, she had a migraine. I offered to go over her place and bring some food so we don't have to go out, she accepted. It was somewhat of an AFCish thing to do, but I felt like it was "the right thing" to do, and it confirmed that she really did have a migraine, it wasn't a random flake so she can go do other things. After dinner when I randomly squeezed her ass, she said something like "I don't know how to say this without being awkward, I don't know what you were expecting tonight, but I can't because it's my time of the month". I gave her a kiss on the forehead and said "It's okay, like I always say, I don't wanna do anything you're not comfortable with".

Later on, when we were just chatting, I jokingly said "fuck you" like I always do.

Kim: Not tonight
Me: But future nights?
Kim: Maybe
Me: Aren't you a virgin?
Kim: Yeah
Me: Aren't you saving yourself for marriage?
Kim: No, I'm just tired of dating assholes
Me: I understand, but if you saved yourself all this time, I don't wanna be the guy that ruins it for you
Kim: You're talking as if that was sacred
Me: I understand

I kept on chatting with her. From the looks of it, she's considering losing her virginity to me. I don't even know if that's something I'd want to do - I feel guilty taking something from her that she can't restore, and she saved it all this time. But then again, it could be a random lead-on. I have a friend who met this new girl, who always sends him text messages and talks about "I'll tie you up" and "I'd spank you", but when he isolated her in his apartment, he didn't get anywhere at all. That made me slightly jaded about women and their (potentially false) sexual hints.

On the last date with her (following Monday night), I said something like "Yeah, I was making plans for this week and made plans for Tue - Thu, and I'm going out of town for the weekend. I realized that I didn't make plans to see you, and really wanted to see you this week, so I appreciate you coming out with me tonight". About 15 minutes into the date, I decided that I was too needy, too attached, and too AFC. So I mentally convinced myself to not like her much and pull back from this. I acted really indifferent and non-needy. When the conversation died down, I was not picking up the conversation during our dinner at a local deli and she had to start new conversation threads after 10 seconds of silence. We were going to go grocery shopping afterwards, I didn't offer to drive her to the store down the street, I just said "I'll meet you at [store name]. After we paid for our groceries at different lines, I didn't offer a goodnight hug like I normally would, no time-bridge to next date, I just walked to my car, said "have a good night", and Kim seemed slightly surprised. I didn't really care much for her surprise because I've already mentally telling myself that I no longer like her as much as I did before, and was prepared to not call her for a week and a half (I have plans every night for a week anyway).

To my surprise, she called me the next day at 6PM and left a message inviting to a baseball game that she's going to with her friends. I called her back:

Me: I wish you would've asked me before I made plans for this week
Kim: You know I don't like planning ahead, you're lucky I didn't ask you an hour before the game started
Me: Yeah, sorry, I got plans to go out drinking w/ some friends. You're welcome to join us for a drink or two afterwards
Kim: Well, I'll be with friends, I'll see what they want to do. I'll give you a call if we're joining you guys for drinks
Me: Sure, what time does the baseball game end?
Kim: Around 10-11.
Me: Yeah, we'll definitely be out drinking during those times, just give me a call if you want to join us.

We ended the call on that note, it'll be interesting to see if she's joining my friend and I for a drink while we go out sarging.

Things to Wonder About:

• After 5-6 dates, is it okay to be a little AFCish and a little needy?
• Her losing her virginity to me - random lead on or is she being sincere?
• Did she invite me to the baseball game (asked me out instead of me asking her out) because she sensed me withdrawing my attention and interest?
• Her inviting me to a baseball game this coming Thursday night - random shit-test? I've already told her I've got plans for the rest of the week.

Date 4 With Kim, Becoming AFC, Time Bridge

So I took Kim out for Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup) Wed night. We met up at my place because she didn't know where it was. Kim's never had Pho before, so she asked me what I was having, and I said "Either the #32 or #33, those two look most American". She ordered the 32 and I had 33. We kept things pretty light, joking around, talking about random stuff. Before the soup arrived, they brought condiments on a plate - bean sprouts and basil leaves. I handed it to her:

Me: That's your #32
Kim really believed me and was starting to eat it
Me, stopping her: Wow, I was just kidding, it's condiments.
Kim: Hey, if you say that was the #32, I was gonna believe you
Me Joking: Yeah, that would've been funny, but the reason I wouldn't let you do that wasn't for you, I just didn't want to be out of condiments when my food arrives.
Kim Joking: So you saved me from eating those not because you're a nice guy, but your own selfish reasons.
Me Joking: Yeah, totally.

We kept on just talking and joking and having fun with things. After dinner, I drove us both back to my place, and said "come on up with me". She said "Okay, only for a little while because I have to get up early tomorrow". I said "Yeah, I know, I have to get up early too because [inserted random lame excuse for having to get up early]". We kissed on the couch a little, she still did the quick kiss and lean away thing, but I held her head confidently, "here, this is how you should kiss". I made sure she couldn't lean away, she seemed to be okay with it.

I transitioned her into the bedroom, and took off her bra and shirt. I wasn't in a hurry, she put up some early resistance and covered her bra manually to her chest, but I respected it, but eventually she pulled her arms away from her body and I told her that her body's beautiful. She seemed really ticklish, probably from being somewhat new and nervous to my touch. I tested a few spots and realized she really was ticklish. She was okay with my hand resting still on her breast, but when I caressed her body, such as her stomach, it made her giggly. I pull off her jeans, but she held onto her underwear when I pulled it off, and I respected that too. She seemed giggly when I tried to rub between her legs through her underwear as well, so I didn't push it much.

I had some kind of an AFC talk with her, which I got "real".

Me: What do you want?
Kim: What do you mean, what do I want right now? What do I want in life? What do you mean?
Me: I meant with us. Are you looking to get married with kids? Looking for a serious relationship? Multiple longterm relationship? Dating around? Fuck buddy? What do you want?
Kim: I don't know, what do you want?
Me: Well, I'm not looking for anything exclusive right now, but I don't wanna be your fuck-buddy cuz I DO enjoy spending time with you outside the bedroom. What about you? What do you want?
Kim: I don't know, I wouldn't mind being married, I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend, I wouldn't mind anything, I really don't know.
Me: I understand, we don't have to decide on anything now.

We kept on chatting, talking about random stuff while I had her in my arms. I also remember chatting about this thread:

Me: Are you comfortable?
Kim: Yeah.
Me: You sure? Cuz the last time we did this, I felt like I made you feel uncomfortable, that's why you flaked out on me the next time
Kim: I really wasn't feeling well
Me: Oh? I saw you in a bar the next day
Kim: That was the next day. I don't flake out.
Me: I understand, I just assumed it was a random flake-out, if I knew you really weren't feeling well, I'd drop by and bring you some soup or something.

I also remember acting somewhat "needy", I remember holding her on my bed and she said she needed to use the bathroom

Me: Nope, you don't get to go, I like holding you.
Kim: I AM coming back
Me: I know, but still, I like holding you right now, so you don't get to go.

Obviously, I let her go to the bathroom, but I might've seemed somewhat needy. The date ended well, and at the end of the date I tried to timebridge it into a Friday night date.

Me: Got plans Friday night?
Kim: My cousin's coming over with her kids and using our apartment pool, I really don't know when it'll end
Me: I'm going to [bigger city I spend a lot of weekends in] over the weekend, was thinking about Friday night, but I can go on Saturday if you think it'll end around 8-9ish and would like to get together Friday night.
Kim: Yeah, I really don't know, my cousin's the type of person that'll come by just to say hi and stay for 4 hours, so I really don't know.
Me: That's cool, if you think it'll end early, get back to me by Friday at noon, if not, I'll be making plans in [bigger city] for Friday night. If not, let's do dinner Tuesday night if you're available
Kim: Yeah, but I can't stay out late, gotta get up early on Wed
Me: Yeah, I'm thinking of 7ish, I got plans to go out drinking with some friends around 9-9:30ish, so I it wouldn't be too late.
Kim: That sounds good

She called me Friday night at 6PM.

Me: What's going on
Kim: Was I supposed to call you today at 12?
Me: Only if you think your cousin was leaving early, but I've already made some plans in [bigger city] for tonight, sorry. We're still on for dinner on Tuesday, right?
Kim: Uh......yeah.
Me: Cool, look forward seeing you Tuesday, I'll give you a call around 6ish. Have a good day.

Things I did well:

• Built more comfort on the date
• Time-bridged into next date
• Stuck to my own rules about her calling me by 12, if not, I can't get together.

Things I wondered about:

• Did I seem too AFCish and too needy during the date?
• Should I have not brought up "real issues" and kept it fun and adventurous the whole night?
• Her calling me at 6PM when I told her "call me by noon if you think you can get together Friday night", was that a random shit-test?