Loss Of Networking Girl

Well, easy come easy go. The girl I got through Networking Game found a boyfriend, and I'm truly happy for her. She's always been looking for that fairy tale, looking for her prince charming. I told her I'm not looking for anything exclusive, but I encouraged she to go find her fairy tale. Until she does, we can keep getting together. Well, she found someone that's willing to commit and treat her well, let's hope things work out for them. If things don't work out, I can always use an extra girl in my collection a bit down the road. :)

Seems like now I have to go out sarging more often and replace her. As my game evolves, I need to learn how to prolong casual relationships with exclusive relationship seeking women before they walk away. Such a predictable cycle:

• sarging
• hooking
• dating
• "the talk"
• settling on the girl's part (on the type of relationship)
• girl stops settling and walks out
• sarging to replace her

Thanks goodness this is a fun cycle. :)

Number Close - David DeAngelo 3 Minute Number Technique

Text-book David D 3-minute number close technique - quick intro, spend 3 minutes chatting, quick exit, turn around to leave, take 1 step, turn back around, "hey, do you have Email?" Women in major cities usually do have Email and usually don't mind giving them out due to the lack of intrusiveness, and while they're writing down their Email, say "write your number below that as well", their subconscious thinks "I'm writing down my Email, number's the same thing", and that's how numbers are gotten quickly.

I number-closed a cashier yesterday, using a variation of the technique above. This was a technique I've been using for more than a year or so, before I got into the community. Such a shame, that after all these "seduction training" and book knowledge, the one that brought success was actually something I used a year ago. Could it be a sign that my skills really isn't improving much?

It was a Saturday morning, 11:30AM at CVS drug store. I needed some cash so I dropped by to buy a bag of chips, and used my debit card. It was in a fairly ghetto part of town, the cashier looks young, African American, really thin, cute body, somewhere between 18-21, HB6-7.

Me, while paying: What's the max amount of cash I can take out?
HBcashier: Um........a hundred, maybe two hundred?
Me: Well, I'll take a hundred back then, don't need two hundred right now.
HBcashier: Okay, have a good day
Me, finished paying, nobody else in cashier line, slight body rock: So how early did you have to get up to work here?
HBcashier: I was here at 8 this morning
Me: Wow, that sucks. I remember working for Circuit City, they wanted me to get in early on Saturday too, but I'd always go out and party Friday night, and get to work at 11AM, and tell my manager "yeah......sorry..........I tried".
HBcashier, small laugh: Yeah, I'm trying to make some extra money
Me: Oh? What would you do with the extra money that you make?
HBcashier: I wanna go travel
Me: That's awesome, travelling's great, isn't it? Where have you been to this year?
HBcashier: Myrtle beach
Me: Yeah, I'm thinking of going to the beach in the next few weeks, but I don't know if I'll get to go this year, the weather's getting cold. . Where do you want to go?
HBcashier: Chicago
Me: You know what, I've never ever been to Chicago. What's in Chicago?
HBcashier: I don't know, just seemed like a fun city to go, it's just there
Me: Never thought about it like that, great idea. I'll definitely have to check out Chicago sometime.
HBcashier: Yeah, totally.
Me, quick body rock, turn back around: Hey, are you single?
HBcashier: Yes, I am
Me, handed back my receipt: Write down your number here, and we'll chat about Chicago sometime.

She wrote down her number and name (which was the first time I found out what her name is). I told her mine, and I wished her a good day and left the store.

Over Negging The Bartender

Monday night - To celebrate my breakthrough to overcoming approach anxiety, I decided to go to a huge local 3-star hotel by a convention center, hoping to sarge on some visitors, especially traveling business women. I convinced Radium to come with me.

Bar 1:
I arrived 5 minutes before Radium, trying to be super social, and started chatting with the bartender at the hotel bar. Radium joined us, we chatted for a bit. There was a female bartender and a male bartender that's occasionally dropping by. I asked for a Mojito from each, and negged the female bartender about the male bartender making better Mojitos, we asked if there're other bars in the hotel, she directed me to other ones, we chilled out and chatted for about 15 minutes longer. Radium and myself both finished our drinks, and I negged the female bartender by loudly (and obviously loudly) talking to Radium, "Dude, let's go check out the other bar, our bartender's kinda annoying". She gave us a smile after hearing it, and we left for the next bar in the hotel.

Bar 2:
We went to another bar, which we got greeted by 5 different employees at the same time at the entrance of the bar area. I made a joke about it, telling them how special I feel, I stood next to them acting like I was going to greet somebody as well, and said "I just want someone else to feel a little more special, so I'm going to join you guys for the next greeting", obviously I only stood there for 3 seconds, long enough to generate a laugh, and sat at the bar.

I ordered a drink, the bartender chatted with Radium and myself for a little bit, I started with quick small negs, the bartender seemed a bit more interested in talking with us.

I needed to use the restroom, asked for directions, and passed another bar on the way to the restroom. The bartender is standing around next to the bar entrance, because her whole bar's empty. She's in her early to mid 30's, blond, cute, about a 7 (out of 10). I smiled at her, she smiled back, I kept on walking to the bathroom. On the way back, I stroke up a conversation:

Me: What you up to?
HB7: Nothing really, nobody's here tonight
Me: Awwwww......I'd totally hang with you for a drink if my friend and I aren't already sitting on the other bar.
HB7: I understand
Me: I'll talk to you later (then a small tap on the shoulder)

I got back from the bathroom to rejoin the bar, my drink was still there, untouched (hopefully), I negged more and more, then asked some opinion about women then how old she is.

HBbartender:I'm 23
Me, playfully: Oh, wow, sorry, I no longer want to know what you think about it now, not that you're not important, but it's just not important to me because I usually date women in their early 30's.
HBbartender: How old are you?
Me: 105

Generated a quick laugh from the bartender, conversation kept on going, I negged more and more. At one point, she said "okay, I'm not gonna talk to you for 10 minutes" while still chatting with Radium due to my over-negging. I said "Okay, cool". I stood up with my drink in my hand, and walked away, to the other bar where HB7 was bar tending.

Bar 3:
I sat down at her bar, told her that my friend is trying to talk to the bartender, so I'm gonna leave them alone, and now I'm here to chill with you. She seemed receptive, which she has to be because she's the bartender and I'm the only person at her bar. She asked about my story, I talked about myself for a few minutes, I asked about her story, she talked about herself for a little while, we talked about common interests, all the local fun hangout places, etc.

We chatted more, I tell her I'm a fairly perceptive person, and gave her a really "interested, but analytical" stare for about 10 seconds, with my hand on my cheek and everything. She asked if I know anything about her by just looking at her for that long, I said "no, but I can tell you a lot about yourself if you wrote down your signature". She did, it transitioned into a handwriting analysis routine, at the end, I asked "so from a scale of 1 to 10, how close was I?". She said "8 or 9", continued to be surprised about how close I was, etc, so I said "here, let's give this psyc test a try, it'll tell me even more about you as a person, imagine a cube ..." I transitioned into a the cube game routine, built more comfort and value as I was "telling her about herself as a person, subconciously" while asking her more questions about her, and here's the horse part:

Me: So you imagined a unicore, which makes me think that you're looking for something super special, almost a guy that's too good to exist.
HB7: Well...........that's not true..........I like all the guys in my past
Me: Do you feel like most aren't good enough for you though? Like you're slightly better than all the guys you dated?
HB7: No
Me: It's okay if you do, cuz I feel like that sometimes
HB7:And why do you feel that way? Do you feel like you're more intelligent? Better looking? Make more money?
Me: Yes, I don't know, and yes. I also feel like I'm more travelled, more cultured, more open minded, etc. So you don't feel like your dream guy's too good to exist, huh? So are you currently in a relationship?
HB7: Yes
Me: How long have you guys been together?
HB7: 6 years.

So that set was wasted, I finished the cube routine, chatted with her for a bit while finishing my drink that I brought over from the other bar, and asked for a water. She handed me a water, I left her a nice tip, estimated it's been about 30 minutes already, said my goodbyes, and went back to the bar Radium was at.

Back to Bar 2:

By now, Radium had built some comfort with HBbartender. I went back with my new-found water from the other bar, and said:
Me: Your coworkers are some of the most awesome people ever.
HBbartender: Yeah, those are some great people (pointing to the hostesses in the same bar)
Me: No I was actually talking about the bartender at the other bar (pointing down the hall, basically gave her a "I had a lot more fun chatting with her than you" hint)
HBbartender: Oh, our bars don't really intermingle much, I've seen her, but I don't really know much about her.
Me: Wow, such a shame, you totally should. She's nice, intelligent, well cultured, well travelled, and really pretty. Too bad she's in a 6 year relationship, I totally would've given it a try if she wasn't.

I kept on chatting for a little while, asked Radium if he was ready to leave, he said "yes" and he went for a number close. He wasn't successful, but the bartender wanted him to come back, and said "I'll be here the next 3 days". While leaving, I asked:

Me: From a scale of 1-10, how nice of a guy do you think my friend is?
HBbartender: Like a 9 and a half
Me: Okay, from a scale of 1 - 10, how nice of a guy was I being tonight?
HBbartender: Well.....uh........
Me: Hmmmmm......like a 2-3?
HBbartender: Yeah, but you said it, not me.
Me: That's cool, I don't take offense. So from a scale of 1 - 10, how much of a jackass was I being tonight?
HBbartender: Well.....uh.......
Me: Like 8 or 9?
HBbartender: Yeah, I'd say so
Me: Appreciate it. Have a good night.

Things I did well:

• First bartender, negged a little about her mojito
• When 2nd bartender "stopped talking to me", I didn't just sit around looking like I'm not having fun, "being punished on time-out", I went out and showed her that I had even more fun
• Came back and talked about all the great qualities about the other bartender (competition, jealousy)
• Fun, interesting vibe

Things I fucked up on:

• Over-negged, can't judge the cue of when I should stop negging.

Getting Past Approach Anxiety

Okay, 2-set, HB6 and 8, straight ahead, I should open. I can't walk directly over, it shows intimidation. I need to think of an excuse to walk past them and "randomly" stop and ask an opinion opener. What can I do to walk over there casually without looking like I walked over just to approach them? what opener should I use? Oh crap, I looked at them too long, staled out the set, lost the "spontaneous" of the approach, this one's burnt, I shouldn't be opening this set now.

For the past 3-4 weeks, I felt like I was "getting into my own head" too much as I acquired more book knowledge. It gave me lots of approach anxiety which led me to not open sets at all. That was, until last Wednesday night. Radium and I went out sarging Wed night. We planned to hit up this local wine bar due to their half-off wine special. On the way walking there, I wanted to start being talkative to strangers, so I went with a functional opener with 2 girls walking the same direction, but somewhat behind us.

Set 1:
I stopped and waited 5 seconds for the girls to catch up to us, and said "Excuse me, do you girls know where Cafe [name] is?" They didn't know, and Radium asked "where're you two girls going?" The more talkative one said "we're going to [club name]", and Radium started talking about his awesome experiences in that club, the set was opened. By then, we were walking 2x2 on the sidewalk, Radium walked beside the more talkative one and I walked beside the less talkative one behind them. I looked at my target as Radium and his target were talking about the club, and we exchanged a smile. I asked her for her name, and started talking to her. She doesn't come out much because she has a baby (she's between 18 and 21 yrs old), we briefly chatted about her baby, how cute they are, built some small rapport. We arrived at the club the girls were going to within 3 minutes of chatting, and we shook hands with the girls before we kept on walking towards the wine bar. This helped curing my approach anxiety.

Set 2:
We arrived at the wine bar. We grabbed drinks, walked over to somewhere within proximity of a 2-set, chilled out for a while, chatting, laughing, having a great time. I opened the set with a quick opinion opener: "Hey guys, quick question. He and I made a bet over a game of basketball, and I lost, which means I have to dye my hair. Is it acceptable to settle the bet by me dying my hair black (I have naturally black hair)? The set was opened. One of them is actually a hair stylist, she said it wasn't acceptable, she talked about all the different ways I could streak my hair, etc. She gave me her business card to her salon, and told me to go there when I dye my hair. The whole time, we were talking about the bet and my hair, conversations died down, and we ejected.

Set 3:
We got another drink, came back and the other set was gone, and did the same thing with another 2-set. Radium opened with the same opener as before, but he was more aggressive with his voice tone and body language as he delivered his opener. The set didn't seem very receptive, we got an answer to the opinion opener and we ejected. Radium and I chatted a little about body language and aggressiveness.


Set 4:
As we left the bar, and went through a small park, we saw two fat chicks. I said in a really low voice to Radium: "Dude, I think we'll have to skip this set, I don't think I can bring myself to opening this one, even for practice". Radium opened the set anyway using the same opinion opener. We chatted, and I paid special attention to transitioning. The set seemed receptive, volunteered information, transitioning was fairly natural. A dead end came to the conversation, Radium picked it up with some "boring" questions, such as "where're you from, do you go to school, etc" and the conversation continued. I did a few transitions, multi-threading, etc. The conversation came into another stop, I said "well, it was great meeting you two ladies, and I wish you a good night". We ejected from this set as well.

Set 5:
As we walked down the street to the next bar, we were within proximity of another 2-set, and Radium opened using the same opinion opener. The four of us walked the same direction for a small while. Conversation died down a bit, Radium asked "life questions", and found out the girls were joining the military, Radium picked up the conversation with his experiences at the military, giving the girls advice about it. We stopped at our bar, said our goodbye's, and the set kept on walking to their cars.

Overall Analysis:

• The Good: No more approach anxiety, opened sets fairly confidently
• The Bad: Still having trouble keeping the conversation going smoothly, transitioning from one topic to another, etc.

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