Update with Kim

Same as before, haven't really advanced much physically or emotionally, still seeing her about once a week. I realized that I genuinely like her, and I'm being somewhat needy and AFCish.

Friday night date highlight:
On the date before that, I timebridged her to do Saki with me Friday night because a local Japanese restaurant has Saki specials on Friday nights. I told her to bring a change of cloths if she wanted to. I also jokingly asked if she snored when she sleeps, she said sometimes, and I said something like "if you wake me up with your snore, I'll randomly touch you so you can't sleep either". Stage was set, expectations were set.

On Friday, I got a flake attempt, she had a migraine. I offered to go over her place and bring some food so we don't have to go out, she accepted. It was somewhat of an AFCish thing to do, but I felt like it was "the right thing" to do, and it confirmed that she really did have a migraine, it wasn't a random flake so she can go do other things. After dinner when I randomly squeezed her ass, she said something like "I don't know how to say this without being awkward, I don't know what you were expecting tonight, but I can't because it's my time of the month". I gave her a kiss on the forehead and said "It's okay, like I always say, I don't wanna do anything you're not comfortable with".

Later on, when we were just chatting, I jokingly said "fuck you" like I always do.

Kim: Not tonight
Me: But future nights?
Kim: Maybe
Me: Aren't you a virgin?
Kim: Yeah
Me: Aren't you saving yourself for marriage?
Kim: No, I'm just tired of dating assholes
Me: I understand, but if you saved yourself all this time, I don't wanna be the guy that ruins it for you
Kim: You're talking as if that was sacred
Me: I understand

I kept on chatting with her. From the looks of it, she's considering losing her virginity to me. I don't even know if that's something I'd want to do - I feel guilty taking something from her that she can't restore, and she saved it all this time. But then again, it could be a random lead-on. I have a friend who met this new girl, who always sends him text messages and talks about "I'll tie you up" and "I'd spank you", but when he isolated her in his apartment, he didn't get anywhere at all. That made me slightly jaded about women and their (potentially false) sexual hints.

On the last date with her (following Monday night), I said something like "Yeah, I was making plans for this week and made plans for Tue - Thu, and I'm going out of town for the weekend. I realized that I didn't make plans to see you, and really wanted to see you this week, so I appreciate you coming out with me tonight". About 15 minutes into the date, I decided that I was too needy, too attached, and too AFC. So I mentally convinced myself to not like her much and pull back from this. I acted really indifferent and non-needy. When the conversation died down, I was not picking up the conversation during our dinner at a local deli and she had to start new conversation threads after 10 seconds of silence. We were going to go grocery shopping afterwards, I didn't offer to drive her to the store down the street, I just said "I'll meet you at [store name]. After we paid for our groceries at different lines, I didn't offer a goodnight hug like I normally would, no time-bridge to next date, I just walked to my car, said "have a good night", and Kim seemed slightly surprised. I didn't really care much for her surprise because I've already mentally telling myself that I no longer like her as much as I did before, and was prepared to not call her for a week and a half (I have plans every night for a week anyway).

To my surprise, she called me the next day at 6PM and left a message inviting to a baseball game that she's going to with her friends. I called her back:

Me: I wish you would've asked me before I made plans for this week
Kim: You know I don't like planning ahead, you're lucky I didn't ask you an hour before the game started
Me: Yeah, sorry, I got plans to go out drinking w/ some friends. You're welcome to join us for a drink or two afterwards
Kim: Well, I'll be with friends, I'll see what they want to do. I'll give you a call if we're joining you guys for drinks
Me: Sure, what time does the baseball game end?
Kim: Around 10-11.
Me: Yeah, we'll definitely be out drinking during those times, just give me a call if you want to join us.

We ended the call on that note, it'll be interesting to see if she's joining my friend and I for a drink while we go out sarging.

Things to Wonder About:

• After 5-6 dates, is it okay to be a little AFCish and a little needy?
• Her losing her virginity to me - random lead on or is she being sincere?
• Did she invite me to the baseball game (asked me out instead of me asking her out) because she sensed me withdrawing my attention and interest?
• Her inviting me to a baseball game this coming Thursday night - random shit-test? I've already told her I've got plans for the rest of the week.